


tell me how to feel about you now

by seothsayers



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:07:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27959666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seothsayers/pseuds/seothsayers
Summary: Waltzing into your ex-boyfriend’s place and taking over the kitchen like you never left isn’t how Donghyuck expected his Friday evening to go, but here he is.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Comments: 25
Kudos: 127





	tell me how to feel about you now

Donghyuck lets out a weary sigh before he knocks on the door. 

The chances of this backfiring spectacularly are high and he decides that if it does, this is where he draws the line. He’d could have said no and part of him wishes he had. Donghyuck was the king of self-preservation and yet Yangyang had gotten him right in his one weak spot. 

Renjun opens the door and his face immediately shifts into a frown. “What the hell are you doing here?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest. His nose is red and he sounds congested – as expected, he’s iller than he told Yangyang he was. 

“I’ve been sent to check on you,” Donghyuck said, holding up the plastic bag by his side. “Yangyang’s orders.”

Renjun scowls and curses Yangyang under his breath. He doesn’t say anything else, just stares at Donghyuck like it’ll get him to leave. Unfortunately for Renjun, he picked the wrong person to try and intimidate into leaving. Donghyuck is also stubborn. Two can play at that game. 

“Yangyang said I’m not allowed to leave until he knows you’re taken care of.” Yangyang hadn’t said that at all – in fact, he’d said that if Donghyuck got there and things took a turn for the worst he should leave immediately because “your emotions are important too” – but Renjun didn’t need to know that. 

When Renjun still doesn’t move, Donghyuck sighs and lifts the plastic bag again. “I can make you soup.”

The harsh glare softens and Renjun hesitates before stepping out of the way so Donghyuck can enter the apartment. Donghyuck slips off his shoes and heads straight for the kitchen, setting the bag down on the counter and unpacking it. 

Renjun’s right behind him, quiet as he watches. Donghyuck feels like he should be more uncomfortable – waltzing into your ex-boyfriend’s place and taking over the kitchen like you never left isn’t how he expected his Friday evening to go, but here he is. 

“Vitamins,” Donghyuck says, passing over the bottle to Renjun. “Go and sit. You don’t need to lurk whilst I’m cooking. I know where everything is.”

Renjun takes the bottle, his lips pressed into a firm line. It’s obvious he’s ill by the way he doesn’t fight back, doesn’t snap at Donghyuck and tell him that this is his apartment and he’ll do what he wants. Instead, Renjun’s shoulders droop and he seems to shrink into the oversized hoodie he’s wearing. It’s one of Donghyuck’s, he realises, and for the first time since he’s stepped into the apartment, his heart seizes in his chest. 

Renjun leaves him alone much to Donghyuck’s relief. He’s an expert at compartmentalising (although, he’s sure _some_ would say it’s one of his biggest flaws) but it would be so much harder to disregard the reality of the situation with Renjun breathing down his neck, _especially_ with his snotty nose. He’d be impossible to ignore. 

Donghyuck’s brought ingredients for two dishes – juk and chicken noodle soup. He hears the sound of the TV start up and feels himself start to relax. He forces himself not to relax too much – he might know where everything in the kitchen is, might have cooked hundreds of meals and ate hundreds more at this very kitchen table, but this isn’t his life anymore. He was simply a man, doing a favour for a friend who was stranded on the other side of the country.

When the food is simmering on the stove, Donghyuck cleans up his mess and wipes down the surfaces until they are spotless. Renjun can’t complain if there’s nothing to complain about. It was like he was never even here. 

Donghyuck heads into the living room to check on Renjun to see him passed out on the sofa. He’s curled up in a ball, eyebrows furrowed and mouth open as he breathes loudly. Sitting by his head is Peanut, his cat, and as soon as she spots Donghyuck, she jumps down from the sofa and starts meowing at his feet. 

“Hello you,” Donghyuck whispers, crouching down to stroke at her head. She purrs and Donghyuck sighs. “Yeah, I missed you too.”

“Donghyuck?”

Donghyuck stands as Renjun shuffles, sitting up with bleary eyes. 

“Food’s almost done.” Donghyuck says. He frowns as he notices the red of Renjun’s cheeks and takes a step forward, hesitating before reaching out his hand to press it against Renjun’s forehead. “Hey, are you okay? You’re looking really flushed.”

“No.” Renjun sniffs. “I feel like I’m overheating.”

“Take off the hoodie then you idiot.” Donghyuck tells him. “I’ll get you a flannel.” 

When he returns, Peanut is sat on top of the abandoned hoodie, licking at her paws. Donghyuck figures even if he had wanted it back, it was a bit cruel to steal from your ex when they’re so disoriented that they can’t even argue with you. He scratches Peanut on the head as he passes as a thank you for acting as his moral compass. 

Donghyuck sits beside Renjun and wipes at his forehead. Renjun closes his eyes and leans into the touch. The low sound from the TV fills the void between them, but it’s not enough to distract Donghyuck from his thoughts. There’s a part of him that’s screaming that this is a terrible idea, that Yangyang shouldn’t have asked him to do this when he knows how recent their break up was, that he should have just stuck to his boundaries and said no. Donghyuck would have gotten over the flare of worry that had appeared the minute Yangyang had text him eventually. 

But then there’s the other side, the one that reminds Donghyuck that no-one knows Renjun as intimately as he does, that sure, someone else could have come over to check on him, but none of them would be able to cook the way Donghyuck does or scold Renjun when he’s too stubborn to rest. Donghyuck knows Renjun like the back of his hand and even with the passage of time, he doubts that he’ll forget the finer details. 

Maybe that wasn’t such a good thing. 

“Do you think you can eat a little?” Donghyuck asks. “You need to get something in you. When was the last time you ate?”

“You think I remember that?” Renjun huffs. He frowns as he thinks. “Breakfast, probably.”

“And what did you have for breakfast, half a banana and a slice of toast?” Donghyuck quizzes. When Renjun doesn’t answer he rolls his eyes. “Some things don’t change.” He says, before he can bite his tongue. 

Renjun doesn’t answer him and Donghyuck doesn’t want him to. 

“Come on,” Donghyuck says. “I’ll sort you something out.”

Donghyuck keeps his hand at Renjun’s back, not touching directly, but close enough that his fingers brush Renjun’s shirt when he slows down in the entrance way. Renjun sits down at the table and puts his head in his hands and Donghyuck goes to check on the food. He prepares Renjun a bowl of chicken noodle soup since the juk isn’t quite ready, setting it down in front of him. 

“Thank you.” Renjun says, before tucking in. 

Donghyuck watches him for a moment before turning back to the stove. “Yeah, no problem.”

Renjun slowly makes his way through the bowl and Donghyuck continues to stir at the juk. The silence in the room grows heavier and Donghyuck busies himself by thinking of how he’s going to spend the weekend alone with the tub of ice cream he knows he has buried at the bottom of his freezer. Peanut walks in and sits down on his feet and with each passing moment, Donghyuck can feel the pit in his stomach he was doing his best to ignore growing bigger. 

When Renjun’s done with his food, Donghyuck sends him off to bed. He does the dishes and tidies up the last of his mess, finally finishing off the juk and leaving the lid over the top of the pot. He walks to Renjun’s bedroom and pauses in the doorway. 

The lights are off and he’s still under the duvet. Donghyuck goes to shut the door when Renjun moves, lifting his head. “Are you leaving?”

“Yeah.” Donghyuck says. “Juk’s done, you just need to reheat it.”

“Okay.” Renjun clears his throat. “Thank you, Donghyuck.”

“It’s fine.” Donghyuck says. Another heavy silence falls between them. “I’ll use the spare key to lock the door and post it back through the letterbox.”

“Okay.” Renjun says. “Goodbye Hyuck.”

“Bye.” Donghyuck hesitates. “Look after yourself.” He says, before he shuts the bedroom door between them. 

Donghyuck closes his eyes and exhales, remaining rooted in place for a second before he makes his way into the hallway to pull on his shoes. He’d made it through a few hours in Renjun’s company just fine but now the end was almost in sight he felt like he couldn’t get out the door fast enough. He gives Peanut one last stroke before he picks up the spare key – his old key – and opens the door. Donghyuck locks it behind him and drops the key through the letterbox. 

On his way home he pulls out his phone to text Yangyang. 

he’s eaten and now he’s in bed 

**Liu Yangyang:** you’re a lifesaver

**Liu Yangyang:** literally, i can’t thank you enough Donghyuck, i don’t know what i would have done otherwise

Donghyuck stares at the message for a moment before responding. 

please don’t message me and ask me to do something like this again

He pockets his phone and heads for the bus stop. 

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/seothsayers)


End file.
